|* 10th' Dec' 04 *|

*10th' Dec ' 04*

10th Dec' 04: Friday

Stationed at the dance site..the crowd sucks..wth..money not so gud.After the thing ends...went to the other site..collection a lot more better..den my mama called saying it's raining at home..i said orchard's not raining...but once i put down the fone..heavy rain started pouring..me n hui xuan took the money box and ran..but we got soak la...sad-ed..still made it to tha bus..totally wet..lucky got bring extra shirt..heng..he found out both of us in tha bus,came and ask if my bro cuming to pick me up..i said no den he offered to drive me to tha bus stop at wisma lo..shocking sial..haha..so i changed le den run liao..but i 4got to take my hp..kns rite..no choice..dun feel like going back..so i called him when i reached home,ask him to keep my hp fer me la..1st time soak until like tt in tha rain..not bad leh..lolx..

11th Dec '04:Sunday

Everything goes on as usual..just that Afizzul came today..last day ma..den collected damn a lot lo..the magicians are good la...but not muz money collected..the SYO best arh!Collected 700+ in 2h30mins..pro manz..counted tha sums with them..too bad he went off early..oh well..now i'm a member of AFUA..kekex..

|*5th Dec ' 04*|

*5th Dec ' 04*

2nd day of volunteery work:Sunday

Didn't go yesterday 1 thing is because I am tired and have to wake very early the next day...so told him that I couldn't come...Anywayz...went today...den did the same things lo....the collections was not as good as Friday though..but still not bad la..lolx.Came a bit late....den the busking has already started..went to the bus....found it locked..den called zi xiang den nvr reply..grr.... met this guy at the door who wanted to return his left over cards...so I knew him on the spot lo...den went to do the collections with him..have to find the pple in charge...so it's .... la..haha...but so many pple around and he's all over the place..so end up calling him instead..He treat me and that guy dinner..not bad arh..haha...After the whole event,went back to the bus for money counting..den almost every1 from AFUA is in there...den he came in..his fren Keefe ask me abt this 'fan club' of his..den i was like...'is there?' lolx...den Keefe 'confronted' him abt it..haha..den he turned to me and said..'eh u betta gib me some respect arh...last time u'all call me sgt..den juz now u say...halo .. arh.lolx..' I didn't remember calling him sgt anywayz..hehe...didn't want to carry on...so let him win lo...=p every1 in tha bus asked him to go out...but he refused..coz he said if he did....the 4 pple will be outside playing guitars and not typing out the forms...lolx.. I asked him to gib me a lift back...he told me tt he's gonna leave the bus last...which is like 1am?..oh well...at least he didn't say no..haha..It's damn fun lo..haha..den later he msg every1 saying thanks to us for helping out..well...still got next week..which is the last week of Orchard Jam.

|*3rd Dec ' 04*|

*3rd Dec ' 04*

3rd Dec:Friday

1st day of my volunteery work for AFUA,along Paragon Orchard Road. It's called Orchard Jam, it's certainly not bad..Exposure of Local Bands..haha...Some of them are really not bad lo...but some are no gud la..lolx...but overall...at least now I know S'pore have good bands..The collection on the 1st night was good lo...haha.....made my own box...hehe....collected ard at least 50 bucks....haha..It's for Very Speacial Arts aka VSA (Singapore). Suprised to know that the red bus at the Youth Park is actually an office..haha..cool huh..and den finally saw him after more than 3 mths....lol...geez.. but didn't really got the chance to speak to him..but I had fun that night...hahazZ..!!!=)

|*26 Nov ` 04*|

* 26 Nov ` 04*

Today actually gud day de...coz I went down to orchard road..managed to buy a nice choker and a bracelet...not bad la..haha.....I really broke le now...sad-ed....anywayz...den rush home.....found my mama at plaza..den go ask abt contact lenses...too bad so expensive..cannot buy....coz 2 eyes diff degree den muz buy 2 boxes...haiz.....den she dunno wat thing not happy...tt kind of attitude....den i not happpy i say her lo...den started to quarrel on the way home...wth....den go also qurrel lo...den i angry i slp..hoping to get the anger away from me..but didn't succeed...why......becoz...my mama gib me nightmare instead of peace.....scream and me asking me to wake up....scared i slp till the next day....there's something called an alarm clock....cannot wait fer the alarm clock to ring 1st arh..i bearly slept fer an hour kays...anywayz...i nvr slp also not happy i slp also not happy..muz well die..i lock my door to slp not die inside there also..no need to scream rite....pple angry den slp 1 de u scream...make me even more angrier knoe....wth....i HATE pple disturbing my slp...it's not ur 1st time knoe me...and i've EMPHASIZE it b4..spoil my day nvm...still spoil my night...wth got into u arh today...a devil got into u arh...dun 1 things can say properly de ma..no need to gib attitude rite....always say we gib u attitude...u gib s attitude u also dunno....still say us....den we say u...u cannot tahan....same fer us rite...always say we dun understand..y r all moms like tt....cannot be more understanding arh..wth..[.we can nvr see the image of ourselves but other pples']..

|*19th Nov ' 04*|

*19th Nov ' 04*

Planned to go to The Esplanade today to find scores...but in the end didn't go...coz sian....den got flu bug....den rain some more..den no mood le lo.......Den nth to do...mama go out buy grocery den i started practicing my singing..wahahaha....feel so gud...but horx...damn...standard really drop leh....the range getting shorter..damn....cannot rich le....wah laoz...see la....4 months no choir...grrr....become like that..den now must re-train...haiyo!!!...I miss singing!!!-.=

|*13th NoVeMbEr'O4*|

*13th NoVeMbEr'O4*

Sighest!!! Haiz...been so confused over this manz...am I receiving wrong signals or what.. God's ans to me was really indirect...I don't blame Him la....I mean..I cannot be spoon-fed all the time right...haiz..Seriously speaking..I may be really feeling something...but am I denying it or what?..Should I wait or make a move? Am I a fool to wait?Am I doing the right thing? Should I forget about it? Still feel the same way too?Am I too late? Did I lose my chance already?Did I really blew it....? Sometimes good sometimes no....what does it mean??? Here's a poem taht i've adapted..haven edited a bit..

I sit in your silence

Scared

Waiting patiently

For recognition

For a word

For a breath

For a touch

But I am raw

Beacause I watch your hands

instead of writing

And listen to your breath

instead of breathing

It's strange how much my feelings

for you have grown

And the need to make you smile

And yet I'm still sitting here

Waiting for you to let me in

|*29th Oct' 04*|

*29th Oct' 04*

Wah..2 more days to O levels....siao manz....hmmm....have been going to school for the pass two days to study....hahazZ....truthfully...i'm scared la....but scared still must take the exam right..haiz..hahazZ...Can de la..haha...it's what i've worked for anywayz...keke..okays...tata fer now..Cheers on ME!!!..=D

|*22nd OctoBer ' 04*|

*22nd OctoBer ' 04*

Whao....Grad nite is really amazing..haha.....almost every1 is transformed..kekex...so pretty and so shuai...wahahahaha......hmm....quite a few things happen though....but I dun wanna say it here la..haha.... Had fun during and after the occasion...hehe...=p....tata..cya every1.....grab ur chances whenever u can..Cheers=D

4/2 

|*13th OctObEr'04*|

*13th OctObEr'04*

Just A few more weeks left to O'levels...geez time's really running out....Had to drop another suject...A.Maths..sighz..left with 5 now..it's risky....but...I have to....well...juz have to do well in all and I'll succeed! Think I've been thinking and worrying too much...wasted a lot of time on it which leads to today....well..*Believe that I WILL succeed!*

|*Weekend in M'sia+my b'day*|

*Weekend in M'sia+my b'day*

Went to M'sia this weekend for my cousin's wedding.The groom and bride had to complete 2 tasks their friends had set up for them..haha...The dinner ended nearly midnite...my mom and i reached there in the afternoon...Haven been to m'sia for quite long le...wanted to go shopping....but disappointed....coz no time.....*sObz* My cousins have all grown up.....Now when every1 is together...there are so many children around....*Happy House*...haha...My young cousins they so handsome!..lolx....My aunt's hse super big...and very nice.....can hold ard 40 pple ..lol....her dog very cute also....can stand on too legs...kept jumping up and down and licking me...-.-"...as fer my b'day....i bought myself a new pair of shorts..den will be celebrating it with my mom tis cuming friday..hehe....got a few b'day wishes at midnite and morning today.....A BIG Thank You to everyone who remembered my b'day.....!!!..[I think 1 person 4got my b'day though or maybe a few...][Disappointed]

|*ANGRY*|

*ANGRY*

I am ANGRY!!!!....super angry.....it's such a disappointment.. own business more important than family?!!!....ARE YOU NUTS?!!!Know the plan 2 weeks ago and tell us onli today!!!!.....wasted our money to reserve a seat for you?!!!.....SO SELF-CENTRED?!!!Don't treat us as ur family?!!!...WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!!!Keep everything single **** to urself.......SUCH A LETDOWN TO ME!!...SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT...CAN YOU EVER GET OVER IT?!!!...Don't even want to explain CLEARLY what u're doing..U EXPECT US TO UNDERSTAND?!!!DO YOU HAVE A BRAIN?!!!Have you ever put ur family in ur mind when making decisions?!!!."Dui de qi ni de ma ma mah?"...To think that we can rely on you.......ALWAYS SAY THAT I DUN UNDERSTAND EVEN IF YOU EXPLAIN IT.......U'RE TREATING ME AS 3 YR OLD KID?!!!ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!IT'S JUZ AN EXCUSE!!!
[Didn't want to use the F word becoz I dun think it's proper.][Although I am ANGRY!]

|*Hair Cut*|

*Hair Cut*

Today finally went for a hair cut after dunno how long...haha...got a fringe?....yea...den my hair a bit shorter la....-.-..anywayz.....i got my hair done 1st...den my mom got her perm.....i sat down there fer 1 hr+...watch tv...nth to do.....den finally the hairdresser asked to help her do something..actually planned to go school study but too late le....so couldn't make it....sorry arh guys...tmr den...=D
[Hope I dun lOok weird]

|* I Believe*|

* I Believe*

Have you ever reach a rainbow's end,did you find your pot of gold

Ever catch a shooting star?

Tell me how high did you soar

Ever felt like you were dreaming

Just to find that you're awake

Cuz the magic that surrounds you

Lifts you up and guides you on your way

I can see it in the star across the sky,

I dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before

Now I finally realise

See I've waited all my life

For this moment to arrive

And finally

I believe in the impossible

If I reach deep within my heart

Overcome any obstacle

Won't let this dream fall apart

See I strive to be the very best

Shine my light for all the see

Cuz anything is possible

When you believe

I can see it in the stars across the sky

I dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before

Now I finally realise

See I've waited all my life

For this moment to arrive

And finally

I believe

|*3rd Sept ' 04*|

*3rd Sept ' 04*

Just finished the English prelim paper....paper 1 was alright...but paper 2 comprehension quite difficult...do until I sleep..haha..*Sleepyhead*But summary was alright....surprisingly...hehe...Looks like there's hope manz..=D

Life's so boring now without choir practice..MISSED it a lot..LOLX..but have to miss it coz of 'O' levels...oh well.....without the training my voice now kinda Sucks..can't reach the high notes smoothly...damn....my standard is dropping again....Sad-ed..Anywayz....singing at home...ermx..it's weird..coz my walls aren't soundproof know...so outside can hear..den kind of paiseh....coz my mom's at home..haha..a bit disturbing...yea...so the only time i can pour everything out is during choir practice..yea..anywayz...i'm singing practically everyday anywayz..haha...kk...enough of that..but i really meant what I say.....[MiSses Choir PraCtIcE!!!]

My Friends(I took this at the choir bbq) 

|*DiSaPpOiNtEd*|

*DiSaPpOiNtEd*

Yea....tt's how i'm feeling rite now..disappointed,sad,confused,troubled,whateva it is...juz can't really explain it.Mix feelings,you can say..Thought t it's gonna be fun,but dun think it is though...I didn't eat much either...tot tt he would turn up but didn't coz he's got something on...it's alrite...the day has gone..perhaps not now but later...no pointing thinking back..look to the future...i guess..if only...

|*ExCiTeD*|

*ExCiTeD*

Next Tuesday is the party...I'm getting super excited...some 1 is coming..yea....hope he can..=D Gonna take lots of pics..hope so..kekez...let's have fun manz..probbaly my last time fer now...yea....anxious leh..well..

|*Out Of The Blue*|

*Out Of The Blue*

I was almost about to lose my faith
Was still dreaming but feared it was too late
But then you came along to my surprise
And stole my heart before my very eyes
You took me right out of the blue..................

|*Complicated Heart*|

*Complicated Heart*

Don't know what you are thinking to me
It seems quite tough to hold a convesation when words are not enough
So this is your decision
And there is nothing I can do
I can only say to you.............

|*Sacrifice*|

*Sacrifice*

From now on,I'm trying not to think about him at all,because this few days..the image of him and what happen keeps popping into my mind...I'm getting distracted.I would rather sacrifice now rather than to regret later..He's a smart guy,so I must prove myself too..so must study...focus..He asked us to study for Os too..I'll just hibernate now and let's see what happens after my O'levels..Most probably I'll get to see him after that..yea..I'll just let it flow la...

|*Ah!!!*|

*Ah!!!*

Don't what the heck happen manz...since my flu...I got sweaty palms...not still got...*worried*..Then my stupid mouse....the sensor got problem....sometimes cnanot move de....cock up le la....old mouse..-.-....Time fly super fast this year...previous years like super slow..den now like that...crazy...can't repeat what happen during PSLE..if not 'mati' le...It's time to STUDY!

|*Sick:Flu*|

*Sick:Flu*

Dotx sial..Now I got the flu...haiz...don't know whether from who sial..or by myself..lol..He got it on Saturday...but the weather was cold,so is the bus...My brother also a bit sick..cough la..I'm ok on Saturday,Sunday...but on Monday night got this flu.....siao manz...Getting from bad to worse..3 days manz....3 days of flu...grrr...go see doctor no use....coz I get this a few times in a year...very normal..coz nose sensitive...unless got other sickness together lah....quite serious den go see doctor.Common Flu also got no specific cure.. Need a lot of SLEEP,Vitamin C,Water !!...lolx..haiz...Afizzul kenna flu by me also..lol....1st time i pass this flu to other people...Hope to recover by Saturday....cannot be sick on Saturday....very troublesome...also cannot let him see that I'm sick mah..haiz..Stupid Nose..LOLx..

Globe

|*()*|

When we left coronation road, Jasmine called me… her timing super accurate... lol….actually her dad sending her there de….but said too last minute…so we went to her house to pick her up lo…haha…we reach the stadium…..quite early la..Haha...heng…already a lot of people…have to find afizzul…..den got quite a diff time…coz so many people...lol… But had a damn great time in there manz…..caught all the fireworks…in my bro’s cam….but I don’t know how to view it…stupid sial…anywayz… we go so crazy loh….when people leaving le….we still there…got those pop songs…so we go crazy lo…haha…dance like siao….den mdm liew also a bit crazy…lol…surprised.... found him….haiz ..Why he so handsome... with his ‘cap’ on some more… anyway…got the choir together…den left…quite early arh today…

Den in the bus…he caught the cold again…think he still use the same tissues in the morning….dots manz…dunno how to ask for more arh…lol…anyway...I dun 1 to be so observant la...so I never offer him loh…lol…den I spoke to him…told him that I gave him 2 missed calls…he was like.. ‘Huh??’ lol….den he checked his phone… den I explained to him lah… haiz… don’t know whether he got save my no. a not… lol ... wanted to ask him some more…but he silence liao...haiz…even our senior…also say he dao …haiz …we played the bombing game…me, afizzul and jasmine bomb him…he was like “Oei!”...lol…we had fun la….sing a lot… (shouting)…den our senior…Randoff…he told me he surprise that our choir…their voices so nice…hehehe….so impressed…lol… reach school le…wanted to take pics with him….but he say today cannot….next week…he promise us next week…so next week…lo….kinda disappointed…L he today like moody leh…dunno leh seems like he always like that...haiz...next sat I got piano lesson...haiz….can’t go with the school….so go there after that…must call him again arh?...lol…nvm…next week den ask….forgot to ask him .. Anyway….happy and sad la…haiz…….*DREAMING*

|*)*|

Anywayz.....seen him today…hahaha…today raining mah…den the bus super cold…so shiok..haha..den he caught a cold lah..haha…den suddenly asked me for some tissues…lol..*SCREAMS*!!..haha gave him lah..den muz 'chop' the 'NDP' thing..he said to me:"Give me your hand." A bit stern sial…what's up manz…den 'chop' lo..the other saw le..took le den 'chop' themselves…I special sial..lol (kidding) Finally he spoke to me today..happy in my heart la…haha..*SCREAMS*!!! Coz today one of our choir girl got asthma attack..was resting at 1 corner..didn’t have her inhaler with her…she got a flu also..risky to let her perform..so Sharon said to send her back..But she don't want..created quite a scene in the corner…crying loudly when we told her she has to go home and rest…mdmd liew actually asked me and afizzul to send her home…but me and mdm liew send her instead…

Actually 'he' was sleeping…but when his fellow medic told him…he sudden;y so awake…wah…so caring..lol..=X..We told her she needs to rest,muz sacrifice today but she don’t want….coz she say her dad will scold her and say she so mafan…blah blah blah…family probs la..'He' also nothing to say lo…haiz….we waited….den in the end she still has to go home…haiz….At that time was lunch time le…took out lunch and go… I brought my bag along,den was also carrying 'her' bag...2 big bags lo....muz go through the scanning machine..I almost forgot..put the bags in le...I muz walk through that scanner mah...I walked the wrong side...so paiseh know..'he' behind me somemore..*Embarrassed*When the bags come out..I was a bit slow..den like struggling like that..wanted to take 'her' bag...but 'he' says "I'll take that."I said:"Huh.."den he said,"It's Ok." (so kind..lol) *SCREAMS*!

'He' led us out lo to find a cab….The whole place was blocked..den muz walk a long way out…He spoke to me lo….say what arh..I not sure also..lol…oh ya..i think he said muz walk a long way out, a big detour…den he asked if me and mdm liew are coming back …I said yes…coz we going to watch the preview ma..den he said 'huh' later we muz walk back in lo….. Luckily..he managed to help he 'tobang' an ambulance out lah…..send us to the bus stop..den mdm liew was wondering if we can take that ambulance again…..so ask me to call him lo…He spoke to me quite a bit lah….just that it happened a bit fast I dun really remember….haiz...i did la….twice somemore..but he nvr pick up….dunno whether to be happy or sad….

|*)*|

Whahahaha!!!....The preview show is SO NICE!!!!!!!Feel so lucky to have the tickets man.....The only difference is that on the actual day, all the important people will be there,but anywayz...seen some of them today..=) The performance by the combined schools choir and other performance are SUPER GREAT! When the sky is getting darker,we took out our phone torch and shine them......the view was so freaking chio loh....LOL...The choir also!!...HEHE....Their dance for the medley of Malay Songs are superb manz..BUT,that mrs chan arh...(you all know who lah)..so damn thick skin manz.....crazy woman..She had already took 4 tickets,but end up her son don't have one...so weird right....give people den own son don't have....don't what's going on on her head sial...Then when she reach the indoor stadium(SIS),she kept asking the woman in charge(Sharon) to give her 1 more ticket,she kept on begging and asking lo.....crazy woman...make the rest of us so paiseh....wth manz....mdm liew also cannot take it lo....she feel as embarrassed also lo...den she go apologise to Sharon....haiz....nth to say abt that mrs chan manz.....She teach me A.maths I also don't know what she talking about...grrr...After the show,we spoke to Sharon again,she asked where mrs chan is..and also i think what's wrong with her ba..lol..haiz...make us so paiseh and pek chek..that crazy woman..

|*So Lucky*|

*So Lucky*

Whoa...I feel so lucky..haha....coz....my junior helped me get ndp preview tix...quite suprise lol..so happy...lol..but horx...need to find some1 go with me..but who???...Haiz... (THANKS Amanda!)

|*I'll Be There*|

                                    *I'll Be There* 
                         by Mariah Carey

You and I must make a pact
We must bring salvation back
Where there is love
I'll be there (I'll be there) 
 
I'll reach out my hand to you
I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name
And I'll be there (I'll be there) 
 
I'll be there to comfort you
Build my world of dreams around you
I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love so strong
I'll be your strength
You know I'll keep holding on 
 
Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter
Togetherness is all I'm after
Just call my name
And I'll be there (I'll be there) 
 
I'll be there to protect you
With an unselfish love that respects you
Just call my name
And I'll be there (I'll be there) 
 
I'll be there to comfort you
Build my world of dreams around you
I'm so glad I found you
I'll be there with a love so strong
I'll be your strength, you know I'll keep holding on 
 
If you should ever find someone new
I know she'd better be good to you
'Cause if she doesn't
Then I'll be there (I'll be there) 
 
Don't you know baby
I'll be thereI'll be there
Just call my name
And I'll be there
Just call my name
And I'll be there

4/2 banner! 

Soyako & 4/2 

|*Ohh LaaLaa!*|

*Ohh LaaLaa!*

Yesterday's Carnival was a blast!haha...My stall was selling Soyabean drink,didn't know it sells so well that we ran out of stock.In the end we end up selling only Grass Jelly drink.Haiz..anywayz,the price of grass jelly drink increased at the end,coz we got limited stock.Can't believe I'm selling Grass Jelly drink again 3 years later...-.-Hahaha...cool manz..This year's carnival not bad lah actually....got the tattoo stall tend by the seniors,I've got 2 on each arm,and 1 on my leg...so nice..hehe...Bleahz..=p.Oh ya,I got my hair sprayed with green colour too,but sadly,it's not so clear....disappointed..=(..Anywayz..the carnival ws a blast...so many people turned up...was suppose to end at 6pm,but the sale was so good that we were already cleaning up by 5pm..WeeeweeeHehehehe..

Soyako 

|*So Stupid!!!*|

*So Stupid!!!*

Damn!Feel so stupid.Feel like sharing something good with my friends,yea because if I don't share it,I may go crazy.Haiz,they know it can,but don't have to show it ma.Sometimes you treat people as your gud friend,you tell them the secrets,but they don't treat you like you treat them,so damn unfair.I won't force them to la,I respect their decision not to tell lo......anywayz...who says life is fair.Feel so damn stupid.Hope that he doesn't know anything about it.Wonder why everybody just cannot keep this kind of things to themselves.Very funny to play meh,so INSENSITIVE!Like I said,if I do it to you how would you feel.Think about it people.GROW UP AND GET A LIFE!for GOODNESS sake!Feel so stupid!What a stupid fool to be good to others when people don't appreciate your kindness.

|*Crazy!!!*|

*Crazy!!!*

Wah seh today....I really go bonkers..lol.Here's what happen.During Physics experiment,we cannot turn on the fans because it will affect our result.With mr Lee screaming at out faults and the humidity in the lab,and the pressure,makes me sweaty,nervous.When I put the string onto the pin,my hands are shaking,my face a bit red le..den we got 5 mins extended reccess.I went for recess,wanting to eat chicken beryani,coz very hungry.I was standing in between 2 stalls,den amanda came and asked me,"Is he the guy?"I turned around and saw him!I almost 'fainted'.LOL!I really didn't expect it lo.coz I already very hot,haven cool down den see him.My heartbeat go damn fast,I was flushed and mind cannot think and hands shaking.I made my way to the drink stall to buy drink,then he saw me and waved,say hi la..haha..he remembered me leh..LOL..so happy!can't stop smiling.Ordered my meal,but lost my appetite,i can finish de leh..think he saw me,haiz..waste food leh...so paiseh.-.-Cannot stop smiling leh...thought all the guys would know,but luckily no..phew!think my face very red sial,like after PE lol,den finally got the guts to go up to him and asked him what he doing in school.He say he came to deliver the shoes and some other stuff lah.He ate in school also..lol..anyway...can't stop smiling,go back to class,sweating like siao,still cannot cool down,hands shaking,wah don't know how to describe la.haiz....so susprised!!! wah..hehe...=P

|*UhhOhh.*|

*UhhOhh.*

Sighz....I think I've made an enemy today.Well,not that I want it to happen,but that's just too bad.Anyway,I do feel angry after that haooened,but didn't bother to quarrel.It's a waste of time to quarrel with this kind of people,it's also a trap to get yourself into trouble.Perphaps you may think that i'm dumbfolded but I am not,just that I don't want to quarrel that's all.And on top of that,it really Spoiled my day.DAMN!

|*Just Plain Dumb*|

*Just Dumb*

For those Wuss,if you can't accept the teasing,bully or whatever you have done to other people,don't do it.People call me TQ,was quite angry at first,but now I've learnt to accept it,because I know that they are just having fun.TQ uses guns,weapons..etc.They say it to me in class,I close 1 eye.This topic is sensitive now,so I may not like it if it's said outside school,in class it's alright because everyone knows it's just for fun.When I 'suan' them back,they not happy,den say last time I say them a lot also.I did not complain that they do to me in the present,yet they use what i'd done to them in the past against me.You want to say people can,humilate me can,when you get the same treatment in turn,don't complain,don't get angry,because when you do something bad,you will get it in return.Once this happens,hate,fight,anger comes to mind.No wonder all mankind are SINNERS.Crimes,fights,murder,happens because of hate,anger,people who doesn't reflect on themselves.Blame others for what happen and not themselves,just so to be innocent.We can't see ourselves until other people come and tell us.I've got lots of names,they call me this,call me that,whatever.I don't hold grudges against anyone.I'd learn to forgive and forget.For some people,they do this to other people,but when they get the same treatment,they can't accept it.COWARDS!They hold grudges against you.When confronted,they'll say:"Last time you also did this to me."If you can't accept humiliation,just don't do it to other people.Cowards.

fireworks(3) 

|*Just A Poem long ago*|

*Just A Poem long ago*
 
I sit in your silence
scared
Waiting patiently
for regconition
 
For a word
For a breath
For a touch
But I am raw
 
Because I watch your hands
instead of writing
and listen for your breath
instead of breathing
 
It's strange how close to you I feel
and the need to make you smile
And yet I'm still sitting here
Waiting for you to let me in

firework (2) 

fireworks(1) 

planes(F-16) 

|*\*|

Wahahaha...finally saw him yesterday.Went to school in the morning to study physics..end up wasting 1/2 hour with the choir..and saw him coming to school.Then finally got my guts to asked him whether I can go to the preview in the evening.He said can but must call him when I reached there.I told him I do not have his number,he asked me to get it from Afizzul,so I got it lah..hahazZ=D After my piano lesson,I ate a quick dinner and was on my way to orchard,transfer bus to Singapore Indoor Stadium(SIS).We cannot see the preview,but can see the 21 bomb and fireworks!I took bus 16 at Dhoby Ghaut Station,I didn't know that the bus did not go to the stadium on that day.The grandma beside me was talking to her friend behind,saying that the bus is faster today because it didn't enter the stadium.My face went white,I waited until I reached Old airport road then I alight.Went across the road to the bus-stop and looked at the directory.When the bus comes,I asked the uncle whether the bus got go to SIS,he said no and I have to alight at the next bus-stop.I alighted and asked the policemen how I get to SIS,he said just follow the path and walk all the way in,so tiring,haha.I reached the stadium and there were a lot of policemen and marshalls.I was entering the carpark when I thought I saw him.From the back view I suspected it's him,thought that he wasn't on duty coz he didn't wear his uniform when he came.I called him to say I've reached.I turned and see if he picks up the phone,he did..means that's him..haha.I was speaking very quickly,don't know why,I asked him if I can enter the SIS,he said don't know because he is not there.He said I could try,I said thanks and went off.I wonder if he had seen me..oh well,hehe.I was at the other side of the stadium,so I couldn't see the SIS,asked a few marshall if they know the way,told me they don't know!WTH.I just walk 1/2 the stadium to reached there,the marhsall asked me to walk behind all the marshalls,grr.Anywayz..reached the East entrance of the national stadium,called afizzul to tell him my whereabouts,asked me to find a balloon that is in front of the SIS,I couldn't find it.He was on the way to where I am,in the middle was a bunch of SAF people drilling.I was hidden behind them,decided to go to the pathway,den saw afizzul there..haha...thought I was lost,was quite scary coz there were SO MANY police and marhsalls..lol.When into the SIS,wanted to do my work,but didn't,went outside to watch the planes,den the fireworks.Was so BEAUTIFUL!1st time watching it in front of my eyes.haha,recorded it but deleted it,thought have more but don't have.Damn,feel so stupid.haiz....damn wasted lah..but the memory in my mind will never go.We could only leave at around 12 midnight,coz must let the p5s go 1st.Got limited bus to fetch us,so must wait for the bus to come back and bring us.That's why yesterday damn late.Waited for about 30mins for the choir to come out,the 'inexperienced teachers' getting paranoid cause it's getting very late,my mom and bro also,so damn angry,coz no bus le mah by tthe time we reach school.Finally saw the choir and his handsome face...lol..(t'cher say de).LOL.We walk to the bus park,waited again,my juniors were talking to me,I was so caught up that I didn't know he had stop walking and I knocked right onto him,so embarrassing LOL,was walking sideway instead of walking straight..haha.=p We spoke to him a bit,knew where he stay also..haha.After we board the bus at 2350,we asked the uncle to switch off the lights so that we can sleep,every1 including him and the teachers fell asleep except for some.I woke up when we reached Bukit Pangjang(BP).He still sleeping-_-".The teacher suddenly say ask the uncle to stop at BPP bus stop so those who live in BP can alight and walk home and no need to go back to school.That's when he suddenly woke up.LOL.Think he heard the teacher den quickly tell the uncle before it's too late.I and a few others alighted,luckyly got a friend who stays in the same block as me.haha.He was staring at don't know what in my direction,I wave also never see..idiotz -.-! But at least got his no.,know where he lives and saw him.haha.Next week not going because of carnival,can go full day on the 31st coz no piano,can't wait till 31st!..wahaha...hope got FIREWORKS!.den can record...wahahaha....CYA..!Yesterday too late to write.(Sorry horx,so long,but happy reading.)

helicopter 

|*---*|

ARH!!!...He did come!!!.....My instinct was right.I did not trust myself.!He came....if only I did what I originally wanted,then I would have seen him and wouldn't be so miserable now...I'm sad.Now I really want to go ...since all the practices are on Saturdays...don't think I can make it..my only chance is ----..arh!!!I really really...want to see him..Haiz..............miserable..*sObz*
*i blog bout you and you blog bout me.. the more we blog bout each other, the happier we'll be!! [becca & manda]*

Ronaldo (1) 

|*Oooohh...haha*|

Was going to type this yesterday,but I was too tired.I went to the National Day Parade Rehearsal on Sunday from late afternoon to night.My friend told me that our school marshall was very handsome,but I didn't went there just to check him out lah,ent there coz i want to see the rehearsal...haha....But when i see the marshall...er.he's really handsome la...hahaha...=X The problem is he quite 'Anti-Social' lo....Haiz..it's like he only go there just to do his job.I see the other marshall speaks to the school people,then this guy like got'zi bi zhen'We spoke to him but he answer only a bit..haiz...One word guy.Then he ask me and Afizzul some questions only.Then on the bus he fell asleep..Wah Piang eh...lol..wasted seh..haiyo...so jealous of the other schools...haha..1st time in my life I experienced the planes show,parashooters,a bit of fireworks..hahaha...sua ku horx...but is my 1st time la..=p. I went there to see AES choir perform mah..hehe...Think I can go on Saturdays also...hehe...He really bery handsome..no kidding...hahah=p..sorry arh..I abit crazy..haha.

|*WHY DO I HAVE SUCH RELATIVES*|

I don't understand why my relatives' way of thinking.My dad came back on 20 june,he decided to tell my grandma they all...,that's why my grandma came to visit us.My dad came back for 11 days,none of his brothers or sister from m'sia called.Then my 2nd aunt only know how to act.They always make her the translator,so everytime there's news from m'sia,she'll be the one passing the msg to my mom.They way she passes the msg can be gud and bad.It makes things so complicated.Anything goes wrong is always my mom's fault.I don't understand why.What has my mom done that makes them dislike her so much.This 2nd aunt.she only knows how to sweet-talk to my grandma,make her my grandma's 'pet'.Then they think that my dad work overseas earn lots of money,den got a lot of freedom.Work overseas doesn't mean u earn big money.WHAT KIND OF THINKING IS THAT!!!Then when my dad drove a 2nd hand mercedes last time,they not happy,we go holiday also not happy.Got money you also can go mah,talk so much.They always try to frame us and make us look bad.Then always say the elder ones muz attend weddings or wateva.Elder 1 everything my do la...den got a bigger peice of cake anot.Damn angry leh...Last time my bro and I were still young,so they try to trick us and make us leak some family news.Now my bro and I more mature,we know how the hell they are trying to do,we are more alert now,so if they try to frame my mom,we'll now let them off.So what if we live in Singapore,all Singaporeans rich la..Damn it.Just like the way they 'kidnap' me.As a Catholic you do this kind of thing,WHAT THE HELL?!I don't know what's going on with their mind.It just piss me off knowing the way they think and the way they do things.Just don't understand.We are a family,why behave like that?!DAMN IT!Then go church every sunday for what?!Treat ur own brother like that..WHAT THE HELL?!The relatives from my mother's side are so respectful.We respect each other,turn to each other for help,why can't those people do the same thing?Don't they have brains?Or are they uncivilised?!So Narrow-Minded!!!TIME TO WAKE UP!U'RE LIVING IN REALITY!!!

|*Sorta Worried*|

I wonder what the heck happened to my voice or my throat.Last week I developed a fever while watching the Portugal vs England match,I was well the next day.A few days later,I woke up with a painful throat.On monday during assembly,suddenly I got no voice.Till now,Every morning and night,my throat hurts,my voice deep,waht's happening!!!I'm getting really worried,during the day it's alright.My voice is VERY important to me.WORRIED.

*|Just feeling PISSED|*

Been saying a lot of "Fuck" recently.Actually I don't wanna use this word on my web,because it's abit off the style but not cannot help it lah...online diary mah.1st,that Beckham missed!Just the same way as he did 2 yrs ago at the World Cup,will always remember that.Take Note.y Then yesterday morning, practicing my piano as usual before going to my piano lesson. Played my scales, appeggios, LIKE SHIT!!! Scolding "Fuck" everytime I played wrongly. Then came up with these sentences:'Fuck the scales,not difficult,just that it is difficult to remember which is which,hear wrongly lah,1 of my weak points that can cost me my marks,also WHY JUST BOTH MY HANDS PLAY IT TOGETHER!!!The problem is play hands together,then always not together..damn..2nd:Fuck the Appegios,so damned difficult to play it properly.Always press the wrong notes,same for scales lah.Fuck the 3 songs,can play,but so damn difficult to bring out the styles of the songs!Songs from 3 different periods,so damn long somemore.Need to slam the keys also!..play till my hands hurt,cannot practice too much,den need stamina,coz the songs are long!Damn sight-reading,must count and do the Dynamics coz we big enough to know them.Sucks at counting.Fuck the aural,singing from memory,like SHIT,play the 2nd part i 4get the 1st part,den must sing the lower part somemore,my hearing got problem,plus short-term memory,can sing also no use.Sight-singing is alright onli must sing on time with the piano,juz hopw that it's in major and not minor key,and no extra sharp or flats or natural signs which makes it diff to sound the note.3rd section,listening also,diff the hear the difference in candences,name the chords,hearing again,den 4th section,must say ourselves, rhythms, melody, tempo, tonality, articulation, dynamics, periods and why, likely composers.English describing ability weak.PLus the last of all nerveous breakdown,practice so hard result come out unexpected.The darn exam in 2 weeks from now,less than 1 yr preparation,norm grd 8 takes 2 yrs,den 30mins of exam that can cost me a certificate/path of my future."FUCK"

*|GO ENGLAND!!!|*

wahahaha.....I'm still awake....awaiting the 'BIGGEST MATCH'Portugal vs England!...Battle of the teens...haha so called la....now killing time..by writing this and chatting..lol...catching up la...haha..den a few days never post le....haven been online a lot...haiz..messed up la..think i'll stop here...nothing esle to say...SAD

*|aDvantages & Disadvantages|*

My dad is returning to Singapore from China tommorow.Advantages: I can be forced to complete my homework and study.Disadvantages:Less freedom,can't use computer much,cannot slack too much also..cannot anyhow go out also...grrr.My ah ma they all may be coming also....my house will be quite noisy la..haha..

Esplanande at night - taken by my bro 

*|Not a bad day after all....|*

I slept at 2am last night....as usual,watching Euro 2004,couldn't watch the next match because today got to go my cousin's house.Then kenna woke up by my toot alarm clock,tehn 2 darn phone calls and the neighbour dunno where.....drilling the wall I guess....damn....trying hard to get a sleep,then bo bian..in the end my mom woke me up....grrr!!!..Oh well,took a long bus ride to Hougang.That toot bus uncle....crazy sial....Just happen that I took bus 74 at Ngee Ann Polytechnic Bus Stop,after I scan my card, the uncle tell me:'eh gerl...this time i let u arh...next time u cannot use this secondary school card liao'...I stunned seh....I told him I'm not a Poly student..I still a Sec 4 student!..my mom was frowning manz..Then the uncle still say when you in poly you cannot use...i didn't bother to reply after that..my mind was shouting:'I HAVE NOT EVEN PAST MY 16TH BIRTHDAY!!!DARN!!!'damn....I took the bus a NP bus stop doesn't make me a poly student and I'M STILL 15!Had lunch at Hougang Mall,then went to my cousin's house.Spoke to my cousin's sons,looked through some of thier school work...darn...so different and chim from what i've studied in Pri sch..tsk tsk tsk!After that we played Monopoly:S'pore Addition..haha...so fast seh..1st time play for so long..den we managed to buy all the properties,build houses,earn money..haha....end up I'm the richest...wahahaha....but tt's just a game...sadly,after that went to Hougang Mall for dinner with them,then left at 7:30pm.Long day huh..reached home at 9pm...long ride.That 171 bus got 2 small crocoaches!Darn....lucky I didn't fall asleep..haha..HENG!..Found out that my grandma and my aunt visiting from M'sia next Wed,Thurs & Fri,with my baby cousin too...whoo...living in my home for 2 days.Lucky no school...haha..I just I can be their 'Tour guide',if possible lah..haha..Whoar!long post again...don't too luo shuo liao..I'll end here today!Cheers!!!=D

*|Mixed|*

Whoar...today I woke up at 1pm..lol..i slept at 5am mah...watch Euro 2004 lo..hehe...didn't know I got such stamina...wahhaha =X..When the match finish,my mom just wake up..haha.kinda weird..ermz...I was disappointed when Netherlands drew the match..sighz...Anywayz...today's chinese newspaper say : From next year July,Sec 4 O'levels student with talent in Arts will be able to go there straight after their Os..3yrs Dip course and 1 yr BA(Hons) at University Of Wales for Performing Arts,and various University for other Arts.Hehe...I ate Rice Dumpling and 2 other dishes for dinner....1st time..lol..not bad leh...hehe..I think that's all la..don't know what esle to say..Oh ya...finally completed 1 of the worksheets for my E.maths homework...still got a lot to do...but I can't sit tight and do!!!..grrr...

esplanade 

A boring monday..

Well..I forced myself to wake up early to watch the NBA Finals...but I was disappointed because L.A Lakers LOST!!!After I ate my lunch,I don't feel like studying so I read the whole day instead.I finished 1 book today.Not bad huh..hehe..I hope tomorrow I won't do that.It's really boring,I can't study,I stayed at home the whole day,nothing to do...sad..and I've got nothing to write here too...I guess that's it for monday..haha..

Eucharistic Congress

Whoar...can't believe I still wake up so early and wen for the 9am mass when I watched Euro 2004 until 0130 in the morning.After mass no choir practice,so went to Jurong Point Library to kill time.At 1:30pm,I made my way towards Orchard,but went I reached Outram Park MRT station,my bro ask me to get out and meet him outside.The door was gonna close soon man...den I bloated out of the train..lol..when I got out I didn't see him,Why? because I used the wrong exit!..I wasn't familiar with that train station...so...haha..den we went to the Eucharistic Congress at the Singapore Indoor Stadium.Well,there were talks given by priests,urging young people to join the ministry,also asking us to help the people in Liberia,and also 2 inspirational talks by 2 young people from various churches.There was quite a lot of singing..=)It started at 4pm,the mass at 6pm.The mass was 2+hrs,the longest mass I've been to.The homily was lik 30mins?Also the longest homily I've listened.Unfortunately,I wasn't really listening,because I was dozing off..didn't have much sleep.When the singing began,I was wide awake again..hehe..=P Before the mass end,there was the Benediction of the Blessed Sacrament,my 2nd time witnessing it.The 1st was at Novena Church during Youth Explosion.The combine choir was great!My church choirmaster actually asked me to join them a few times,but I didn't because there were too many things to cope..yeah...quite wasted though..sigh..but I went to see how the things go,perhaps next time when there is such event.Also,it's the 1st time I attend a mass with a small ochestra playing the songs,and the conductor actually dropped his baton twice..lol!!..The event was a success,but there was no food provided,and we didn't know it lasted for 4hrs30mins and we're starved.When we reached him it was 10+.That's when we had our dinner..Then I showered at 2330,broke my record also..after that I watched Euro 2004..haha..What an eventful sunday.=D

*|YaAy!!! I cooked dinner tonight...hehe|*

haiyo...I cooked dinner tonight...hahaha..ermz..macaroni pasta??..hehe...my mom talking on the phone mah...den my korkor come back liao...den scared he hungry...den I cook loh....see I so good...=X..haha...At 1st abit scared lah but steady le den ok liao...lol...ermz...not bad lah...successful enough..hehe....very yummy leh...dun drool horx..=p..Arhz...today went for piano lesson,den got my exam date....it's on the second week of july again.....14th July!!!...grrr...5 weeks from now..i'll be taking my final exam for basic piano...well..wish me luck manz...I really hope I score well...that means more practice!haiz..I hope the examiner's british accent is not that thick..haha...If not I'll be 'huh'?!..cannot fail manz...must get a merit you know!!!GO REB!!!Cheers!!!
Quote of the day: 'If you are never satisfied,you will never be happy in life.'

Cristiano Ronaldo:My scoccer Idol..hehe 

Festival Of Choirs:3rd Night

Well well,the concert was just as great as the other 2 nights.Finally I get to hear Victoria Chorale sings..haha.They're taking part in the Choir Olympics this year..and so is Hwa Chong Choir..haha..Though the Victoria Chorale has only 30 people,but they sound like a 100 people..well...I'm not exaggerating.They're just good..they sing every song in a cappella in tune. The Novo Concertante Manila sings a few pop songs in a cappella..some sing the background music...so it sounds like it has an accompaniment.Their articulation were very very good....the words are very clear!....I wonder why they won't tangle up the words..How did they do that!..It's just amazing.The choir is only 6 years old..Amazing!The festival Chamber choir,also specially form for Jubilate,they're good,got soloists,they also sang a cappella.I wonder why good choirs sing a capella?hmmm...Overall,this Festival Of Choirs is a success.Well,a bit disappointed that I didn't get to sing in it,but well it's a good experiece listening to these people singing.I hope that they'll have this next year again and probably I can get a chance to sing in it..hehe..=p

Festival Of Choirs:2nd night concert

The Festival Boys Choir was form specially for this occasion...haha....got boy Soprano leh...damn high...sound just like a soprano..lol...not bad....I guest the boys choir is better than the girls choir...The Malaysian Choir...wasn't very good though...I guess because they do not have a conductor...well...they're amateurs =)The Hwa Chong choir was great!...Their conductor looks like mrs Lock..lol...The festival youth choir sounds good too...They're conducted by Mike Brewer.The way he conducts is very special....it makes you enjoy the music and laugh..They last song they sang Hamba Lu Lu...arrangered by Mike Brewer himself...it was an arfican song....it's very nice..and the actions are great..they're 8 parts altogether...It makes you confused..haha....but the effect was great...sO is the Novo Concertante Manila Choir....they're better and better day after day....They can sing diffent types of songs.sigh...I wonder when I can have a voice like theirs! More hard work I guess.Also,2nd night got more handsome guys leh...haha....Festival Youth Choir,Victoria JC Choir..hehe.=)Cheers

Festival Of Choirs:1st night concert

The concert was great man!!!!...lol....Victoria JC Choir,Festival Children Choir and the magnificent Novo Concertante Manila Choir....Oh My Goodness....they's juz superb! A capella...so in tune(VJCC also)! The concert lasted for about 2hrs+ by the time I reached home it's already 11:30pm...and still got Chemistry the next day...haiyo!The chairman of the Organising Committee is AES Chorale choir conductor leh...hehe...he conducted the Festival Children Choir...and they were very good too! haha....Since he's the chairman...he has written a message about this concerts with a photograph also lah....my goodness....my friends and I were so shocked to see that picture....guess that was how he looks like 20 yrs ago...lol!!! The other conductors are also slimmer when they are young....now old liao...fat le..wahahaha...but really they're all very good...the choirs are also great. I'll be looking forward to tonight's and tomorrow's concert!haha...btw...VJC Choir and VC got good looking guys...haha..I guess they're the only choirs who have good looking guys..haha....They sing really well.....I'm lost for words..

I've watched Harry Potter!!!

haha....today when to watch Harry Potter Prisoner Of Azkaban...yaay....it was funny and a nice movie to watch....wonder why my friends don't like it....haha....I luv it..hehe...watch le den go walk walk along Ochard.....bought myself a pair of earrings...haha..can't believe that I went to Ochard Road for 2 consecutive days..for so long somemore..haha..came home at about 8:30pm...late..haiz..tired...but fun..hehe..=D have been coming home quite late lah....this few days....go out quite a lot also....jia liat...-.-

I'm Tired...haha..but i've got a new pair of shoe..hehe

Oh....i'm felling tired..haha...slept at 1145 yesterday night and woke up at 0645 this morning...got to reach church early because I must practice the psalms..The experience of singing psalms in front of the congregation was not bad...though my legs were really shaking...lol....oh well....i guest it was successful....perhaps I may do it again soon...haha....practice makes perfect..=D After mass I went to ochard with my friend Merleen...I'm was looking for shoes..haha....so tiring..walk for nearly 4hrs before I decided to by that shoe..haha....pity my friend...lol...sorry arh..haha...lucky you wear sports shoe...my legs are now hurting!..haha...but I got my shoe...hehe...I fussy lah..haha...can't help it....must buy a really suitable shoe know...=D..I'm satisfied!

A lousy day.........

In the morning got Geography...at 8:30am....yet I slept at 2am last night...can't believe it..and now i'm still wide awake typing this post...haha....kk..nevermind..Anyway, after Geography I have Physics for only 1 period which is 45mins,BUT!it was extended until 1210..my goodness...spoil my plans....I've got no time to practice my piano before I go for my lesson,I practically ran home from school...I was DAMN PISSED!...reached home already 1230 liao.....1330 must leave house le..den reach home so late....no time to practice...shower,eat den onli can play 2 songs...wth manz...I thought it ends at 1115 as it is written in timetable.Gosh!...They think that sec 4s very free on Saturdays afternoons arh...HAHA...fat hope...take note..pple like me is an exception...I'm not free on saturday afternoons!..Goodness....so damned tired....At piano lesson today...my teacher told me not to practice too hard...if not my hand may get injured if I don't let it rest...haha...pain know...need so much energy to slam the keys...lol...it's a fast and loud song...so must bring out the style of the song...haha...love it....but need a lot of strength..hehe...I hope tommorow I'll sing the psalms properly....it's my 1st time!!..after so many years..haha....the nerves are getting into me....must pray hard and have confidence in myself!!...yaay....really hope it goes well and..I will not screw up and.do my very best..hehe..no need any supporters....thank you..haha..haiz...later make me more nervous lah....1st time in 6 years..if it goes well next time still got chance de kays..hehe...=p..tt's all fer today...=D

Yet Another day...

well.....same as yesterday.....today's A.math sucks too.....sAd....how am i going to buck up haiyo..tsk tsk......anyway....haven seen him fer quite long le...dunno leh...the more i think abt it the more confuse i am leh....wat's the signal telling me den? Oh well....i really really hope that we will still communicate like good friends..that's the only thing i want...=)..Today..only got chemistry....all other lessons cancelled...so suprosed and happy....because..can go for choir!!!..haha...siao...so suprise to see quite a few new faces though...anywayz...i'm excited about the clinics and concerts next week....It's gonna be a busy and exciting week for me..haha...3 consecutive nights of concerts....imagaine that...haha....anywayz....i'm also excited to watch Harry Potter next monday too..hehe...yaay....also i learnt how to use rubberband to shoot people liao...haha....BEWARE..=p

Sighz......Confused....Fustrated..!!!

What a day.....still dun understand why I can't speak to him like I used to before??...sAd...what the heck happened??!!!...Oh well....anywayz....today's A.maths was a KILLER!!...so many questions to do.....and the things taught are different from the exercises...haiz....why can't my mind to be more flexible?..Little bit twist die laio....haiyo....feel so lousy...nobody help me also....sAd lah....

-*|YaAy.....gOt My OwN pAgE|*-

hehehe .....got my own page le...so happy....abit sua ku horx...sorry lah...haha..i'm a newbie.....muz duo duo zhi jiao....gib me feedback sho i can improve...thanx...=)